"There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist." -- Agent Smith (Matrix: Revolutions)
I had an epiphany tonight. For the longest time, I've always thought and felt that my purpose -- my meaning of life -- was set: to help people who needed help. I've come to realize that that is not the case.
I think my issue was that I had confused an observed need/demand in this world, with my ability/supply to fill it. That is: there are people in the world who need help, and I have the ability to help. But the kicker is that there are numerous needs/demands in this world, why pick the one that I did? The answer is simple: that was the one that was most glaring to me at the time. As I continue to age, and continue to experience life from different angles, the set of observed need/demand has increased, to a point where I've come to re-evaluate my ostensibly concrete purpose.
Although I no longer *think* this way, I still feel it -- this charitable, philanthropic feeling; despite all the new needs/demands I've come to observe in the world, none comes close with respect to the altruism contained in the first.
Heh, I *so* feel like Neo after he saw the Architect: lost and without clear purpose (now, all I need is to be able to zap lightning out from my fingers, :P). But in the end, our purpose is what we make of it, and we figure it out as we go along...
more thoughts about this to come...pertaining to:
- what I've done so far to reach my original purpose.
- Considering I've been working almost none-stop while graduating, the answer is almost a big fat 0.
- where I see myself in the not-too-distant future.
- Ha, working non-stop...
- crap....is *this* the pre-cursor to mid-life crisis?!??!!
